me & madison

Saturday, April 07, 2007

well life's busy as usual. News for those who don't know.. Rob and I are expecting, I'll be having the baby late august or early september (due to complications, Dr. will decide when closer to time.) otherwise baby is doing great being closely monitered as well am I , since the dr. knows what to watch fore this time. i actully started gaing weight a bit (with madi I was down to 103lbs at 9 months).
Madison is very excited to be a big sister --but only if it's a girl--if it's a boy she says it has to wear dresses and lipstick. we are very excited as well due to surgery i had last summer if we wanted a child we were given a time line that we had to concieve in and at that only a small likley hood of it, and we did within the time and have made it past most of the things they were worried about--very few women have been able to concieve after the surgery i had. So I guess this is our miracle baby.
A little nervous were kind of at the "easy" stage with Madi and know where gonna start the whole baby thing again I sometimes wonder if were nuts!
So we are now also looking to buy a new house as ours is in a great neighbourhood (first ave.) but only 2 bdrms, so it looks like will be getting a mortgage we can't afford (bank thinks we can) but I'm pretty sure that when you have 2 kids a dog , fish and a hamster ur suposed to have more bills than u want! I'm just happy we got approved enough to pick what we like and we still get to keep the house we have and rent it out.
and then the other cool thing is that when I start my Mat. leave this summer Rob and i have decided that I won't be going to back to work unless i want to. And that I'll just stay home to raise Madi and the baby which to me is a dream come true to be able to do that. People say I'll go nuts having to be home home all day I think I'll love it it has always bothered me so much all the time Madi has spent in daycares and with babysitters while I work and now I won't have to do that. Most people have high career goals and I admire them for that (HEATHER) but for me getting to a stay at home mom will be beyond fufilling.
well anywasy gotta go , I want to get all the Easter stuff ready for tomorrow before Madi gets home so I'm not making her basket at midnight!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

ever heard "frog eyes"?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Madison has her first loose tooth!
I almost cried that my baby girl is getting so grown up!She's very excited and can't wait for her tooth to fall out so that the tooth fairy can come--Anyone out there know the going rate for the tooth fairy these days?
I've been trying to upload pictures for Heather but the computer and blogger is diareeing with me.Eventually I'll figure it out.
Christmas was great -crazy busy but great, madi was totally spoiled as usual her favorite gift was a puppy that really breathes. It still has to go everywhere with her.

Monday, December 04, 2006

The last while has been crazy and fun. madi has been home every weekend for the last 4 weeks and it has been AWESOME , my favorite thing to do is hang out with my beautiful 4year old.
It has had it's challenges she is on a medication that causes extreme tempertanturms in children and unruly behaviour, and it's been pretty frustrating, but it finally looks like the levels are adjusting and she is getting back to normal --Thank god!
So lately we have been keeping busy we went and saw the movie Happy Feet--Iwouldn't recommend it in the theaters it was good but more the type you'd rent instead. went to a few christmas partie, shopping visiting , today Madi and I went to the Mandarin for dinner(awesome) and evan more awesome is kids 4 and under are only 2 dollars!!!after we met up with Rob for a snowball fight. last weekend we went to the hespelr santa parade not as big as the hespler road one but not crowded at all-perfect for little ones, we went with 3 of her friends, We have been going on many drives looking at all the christmas lights there seems to be so many more decorated houses this year, work is crazy busy I usally work 4 shifts a week-this week I have 9( open and close shifts the sane day!) and those 9 shifts are with me still having wednesday off to volunteer in her class-- which I love! today we also volunteered at the school library sorting books and delivering them to the classes Madi loves doing this. But best of all was tonight she made me so proud, we were outside and she was drawing in the snow with a stick and decided she better write her name in it so people would know where she lived she wrote her name and then right under it wrote MOM all by herself!!! and announced I had to write your name to so your friends will know where you are. I think i might go take a picture of it -corny yes, but I was so surprised I didn't know she knew how to do that. She learns so much every day and all of a sudden looks so much more grown up , well I 'd better get ready for bed tomorrow we have swim lessons then dance on the next day.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Well me and Madi are as busy as ever, her dad still a jerk on sunday when he was returning her to me was met by 2 officers one detained him while the other brought Madi to me-- long story --- but He's learning I won't put up with any crap. to be blunt , then late that night baby sitter called she's sick so i called mom to babysit on Monday -thank-god for grand ma's!! Finished work picked Madi up at Mom's came home , dinner and then while madi was dancing in the kitchen she fell cut the back of her head open ( they aren't kidding when they say head wounds bleed a lot) trip to the doctors, she says after a quick look no stiches needed. but she scared me good. then i woke up every 2 hours to make sure Madi was ok and ask her questions. Long night. Poor kid her head just kept re- bleeding and it got stuck to a pillow! being the cut is at the back in the midle of her hair you can't put a bandaid on it. stayed home from work today to watch Madi (Pissed off boss)Relized part way through the day as the cut on her head appears quite deep -probally shouls have had stiches. Spent the day spoiling her. tonight was her dinner night with Dad came home and head is really sore again-Apperently his mom who is more of an idot than he his decided to smack Madi in the back of her head where the cut is for touching something ( im beyond pissed) now her head is bleeding again.
But on an up note I got to spend all day at home with my baby girl!!!Sick days really are the best thing in the world. we lounged in our jammies, picked up mcdonalds for breakfast went to micheals craft store got crafts (great cheap kids xmas crafts!)finished decorating christmas tree watched movies and just hung out with no set schedule which is a very rare thing in our lives.
The rest of the week is as follows-wednesday-still debating sending her to school-Thursday my parent observation day in her class, speech therapy, friday picture re-take day (my funny little girl thought it would be funny to make silly faces for her school pictures-I on the other hand didn't think it as funny) , work and play date after, saturday santa parade and hanging christmas lights ---acordingto madi i'm going to climb the huge tree in front of our house to hang thenm Im not to sure. Next weekend were taking Madi to Rob's work Christmans party at Missisauga convention center, lunch with santa , presents crafts games ice sculptures, indoor bounce castle etc.. weekend after that to a christmas concert pretty much every weekend there's christmas stuff from now till christmas.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I'm not sure which word describes how I feel best, releaved, happy, confident, not crazy...Our custody case is finally done. when we first went to court 3 years ago there was so much I didn't know, and let me tell you I can probally cite almost every custody law, stipulation off hte top of my head now that is out there, the last year has been hell, feeling like lawyers courtrooms and stress were never going to end feeling like shawn was going to get to use Madi to control me forever, or worse yet that I would lose her.
But it's finally done and I have my baby girl and no fears anymore. The judge was extremly harsh with her dad to put it mildly--called him a spoiled brat that has no idea how to be a parent or how to put anyone ahead of homself, and comened me for my parenting skills, and my complete love for my child and for always doing what is best for her with my own feelings put aside. he lost a lot more acess and strick stipulations were put on the access he does have. such as he gets her tuesday nights for a visitation but only to attend an extracircullar activity of my choice if she does not attend he loses that acess time.( ihave pifcked swim lessons-the judge said this is so he can begin learning that madi id most important and how to be an active involved parent.--which by the way tonight would have been his first tuesday but he had baseball practise which he determined to be more important so as usal Rob and I went with her and explained why daddy couldn't come.
The other was he has all parental rights and responsilites stripped from him I have the final decison in all aspects of her life including all major medical(which is rare fathers uslly get this)
No more fighting about which doctor, which medication , if surgery should occur, trying to expalian specalists recommendations to him when he doesn't show up for appt's and then argues the course of treatments decided on .
I also now can begin to live my life and finally Rob and I can move on with oour life together with Madison, as he has been fighting us moving into Rob's for the last few years. Her dad actully brought it up to the judge he didn't feel it was right that Rob be in a parental position when she has a dad , the judge said that Madi and I are increadibly lucky to have someone who loves us both so unconditnally, and is more than able and has already stepped up to the plate raising Madi with me and that shawn should be thankful that she has a good role model who picks up where he fails. And she is right the last few years over and over agin Rob drops everything for Madi , he could'nt love her more if she was his own child,
Still with all the security i have fought for , for Madi part of me still feels sad that her dad just isin't capable of putting his anger aside and being a good dad, I wish she could have the best of both worlds but I know this isn't possible, and I do everything I can to make her life better after the hell she has been through. She's my baby and for the first time since our separation before she was 2 I can say she's my girl and will now stay my girl.
I hope as she gets older she will see and understanf everything I do is for her and having her dad's rights very restricted through the courts was a lenghty complicated emotinal process but the best chance I had at raising her.
Raising a child is not easy , but has been beyond difficult , madi has health issues is on 6 perscriptions minamal daily , requires a lot extra mointering and care, I have done this on my own since she was a baby, as well fought6 every step of the way with her father to be able to lead our lives which he used his joint custody status to control, and now it's just me and Madi and our choices and our lives.